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| oh my little xanga...my poor, neglected xanga.
i've been meaning to talk to you. please, sit down. have a drink. no, you're not old enough for that.
you can have a sprite.
or milk.
okay, chocolate milk is fine.
you were once an only child, my darling. but then the family grew. we had our second baby boy, myspace, come into our lives. we didn't really like him that much. sort of a black sheep, wasn't he? no competition there; my loyalty and love to you was stronger than ever. what ever happened to that myspace boy, anyways? was he kidnapped? hmm...with the holidays coming, i just don't have enough money for the ransom.
but now, my precious xanga, we are on the cusp of ...what's that? oh, cusp? ya, it means like, "edge" but on a curved surface. anyways, we are on the brink, if you will, of a new phase in our lives. seasons change; our lives must too. nothing gold can stay. and...well...
how's the chocolate milk, darling? you're such a good little boy.
oh, what am i trying to say? i didn't think this would be so hard!
uhmm...i'd like you to meet someone.
someone i love very much. she's a beautiful young lady that i want to share my life with. and no xanga should go without a mother. i know, the other kids at school have been asking questions and calling names. but now we can be as normal as any other family!
my little xanga, i'd like you to meet Face Book.
Isn't she beautiful? I'm absolutely smitten and I think that we'll all be happy togeth-
Hey! Now you pick that glass of milk up this instant!
DON'T THROW GLASS. THAT IS A NO NO!
Young man, you get back here!
I'm sorry Facebook, normally he really is a lovely little boy.
What did you...Don't call your father such nam- YES, YES I AM YOUR REAL FATHER!
You little shit! I work my ass off to keep you warm and well fed. THE LEAST you could do-
What's that honey? Yes, I know I shouldn't curse, yes, he's only a child...yes, this is all coming so quickly...I KNOW! i will handle it. I said I'll handle it, didn't I? I just said that!
Young man, get back here and apolog- Don't you slam the door on-
No, baby...this is not what happened with my myspace child.
Okay...pout in your room, if that's what will make you feel better. But when you finally decide to come out, Face Book will still be here and we'll all have to learn to love each other.
We are going to love each other.
WE ARE GOING TO BE A LOVING FAMILY.
A WONDERFUL, FUNCTIONAL FAMILY THAT DOESN'T EMBARRASS ME!
we are...going to make it...work.
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| Crazy: So I had to get fillings in all of my teeth.
Passenger: Uh huh.
Crazy: But I figured, why let them do that to me after they drilled holes in my brain, ya know?
Passenger: Sure.
Crazy: But I figured, might as well! Although if they were going to fill my teeth, I'd want them to use jelly.
Passenger: Yep.
Crazy: But the guy at the counter said they were out of jelly. So I got a blueberry muffin.
--R train
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| Ten Reasons Why You Should See DREAM SAILORS at Rorschach Theatre (other than "I'm in it"):
10) You've never seen anything like it!
9) Girls take their shirts off!
8) Guys take their shirts off!
7) Learn about the pleasures and dangers of lucid dreaming!
6) See some dance moves that humans should never do in real life!
5) Watch the 110 pound girl kick ass with a broadsword!
4) See the magical curtains that actors can walk through!
3) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cameo!
2) Rex Daugherty vs. Pirate Babe sword fight!
1) Survivor tips for dealing with psychotic, fictional beings!
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| Spiderman vs. Jedi Knight....who would win the fight?
Points to ponder:
-spidey-sense vs. the super speed of the force
-light saber vs. extreme agility, web slingers, and super-human strength.
-just how powerful is the Jedi without the weapon?
-how powerful is Spidey in hand to hand combat?
What do you think?
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